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One morning, I woke up and I was suddenly twelve feet tall

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008, by YASMINE · 21 Comments

One morning, I woke up and I was suddenly twelve feet tall
Originally uploaded by yaznotjaz.

Last Wednesday, I went to a Mohja Kahf poetry reading at Mudraker’s in Berkeley (it was rocking, by the way!), and ended up seeing some old buddies and making a couple of new friends. One guy I shook hands with towards the end of the evening exclaimed, “You have a really firm handshake!”

I laughed. “I get that a lot.”

His friend said, surprised, “Oh, yeah?”

“Here, I’ll shake your hand, too, so you can see.” So, I did.

“Really strong!”

“I have to compensate for my short height in some way, you know,” I joked. “At least I have strong handshakes.”

A few minutes later, the first hand-shaker asked curiously, “How old are you?”

“How old do you think I am?”

He thought about it for a minute, then confessed, “I can’t really tell. You’re short.”

SIGH. As my friend, Hashim, says of my photography, “You seem to be looking up a lot (trees towards sky) - or down (at grates or odd pink cemented things). This implies you are short…”

Someday, I will grow up to be tall, and Hashim will stop making basketball-related jokes at my expense, bastid. One can only hope. Meanwhile, I’m content with lots of fist-shaking.

Tags: Conversations and Encounters · Resident Rockstar

21 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Z-Man // Mar 22, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Are you sure you don’t mean twelve years old :-)

  • 2 the sister // Mar 22, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    Nice bellbottoms! ;)

  • 3 the sister // Mar 22, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    haha I almost typed belly buttons! HAHA

  • 4 fathima // Mar 22, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    why does that make you laugh, el sister? i’m sure she has OUTRAGEOUS belly buttons.

  • 5 bdr // Mar 22, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    This make my top 3 of cool pic’s you have taken.

  • 6 iffat // Mar 22, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    dude! yaar!

    even though i know i can’t grow any taller because of silly biology, i still hold hope/wish to one day suddenly grow to 5′ 8″.

    sigh.

  • 7 asad // Mar 22, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    i wish i was shorter than i am, and less ungainly. shorter people are cute, and can hide more easily. that’s always a plus. =)

  • 8 AyeshaZ // Mar 22, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    Though I never wish about being shorter but asad has a very valid point.

  • 9 ruqayyah // Mar 23, 2008 at 1:50 am

    and you give really strong hugs too! ;) i can still feel them :P

  • 10 maisnon // Mar 23, 2008 at 9:57 am

    My uncle has called me Shorty my whole life. Yeah. I’ve been taller than him since I was 14. (He still calls me Shorty.)

    I wouldn’t want to be shorter, but it would be awesome if I could buy PANTS instead of floods/capris.

  • 11 knicq // Mar 23, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    …and NOW look what you have done!

    Suddenly, I have been led to the realization that I am short, which basically means JB is not all that tall, and that is some compensation. And all this because I have a firm handshake… a firm handshake that came from years of practicing, because they taught us in MBA this was the mark of a confident person, and a good salesman. The fact that you never got around to shaking hands with ladies in Pakistan - back when atish was jawan - and that they never brought your attention to this detail got me into trouble more than once once I arrived here and went around being introduced to my colleagues… I had to explain myself to three fiancees and two bosses in the space of two hours. The ladies got a day day off to nurse their hands, and made a habit of hiding their hands in their pockets when walking anywhere on my floor - even when I was on sick leave. :(

  • 12 Owl // Mar 24, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Being average is boring. I like having a gag, and as I’m not tall or short, I’ve got to pick something else. Like my face. 0_0

  • 13 ayan // Mar 25, 2008 at 8:02 am

    That whole conversation was a ploy to shake your (a girl’s) hand. Watch out for ploys!

  • 14 rawi // Mar 25, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    I’m not sure if I agree about your photos tending to look up, or down. Rather, I think they’re often about the detail, the right moment. It’s less about the vertical, or even the spatial…more about the timing. Or time.

    Someday, I wanna wake up to take photos like you do…

  • 15 mcpagal // Mar 29, 2008 at 6:40 am

    Good things, small packages!

    And short people are usually more spunky, to make up for the whole vertically challenged thing. Maybe I’m just making that up though, I’m biased…

  • 16 BAQ // Apr 9, 2008 at 7:40 am

    At least short people do not usually develop that awkward stooping body frame, and yeah, they dont go banging their heads on low door frames when going in or out a little less carefully. *rubs head at the memor(y/ies)*

  • 17 Saadat // Apr 10, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    I only know that my wardrobe is stuffed with loads of trendy clothes, which just grew small in a matter of weeks.

    Still, I love being tall. Nobody dares to give me a firm handshake because of it. :cool:

    You are invited to a blogiversary, by the way.

  • 18 Dreaming of Beards // Apr 11, 2008 at 7:03 am

    Your titled reminded me of Shel Silverstein’s poem “One Inch Tall”

    If you were only one inch tall, you’d ride a worm to school.
    The teardrop of a crying ant would be your swimming pool.
    A crumb of cake would be a feast
    And last you seven days at least,
    A flea would be a frightening beast
    If you were one inch tall.

    :)

  • 19 Owl // Apr 11, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    Yasminay, you ARE 12 feet tall. Didn’t anyone tell you?

  • 20 perplxintexan // Apr 20, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    I’m said you left blogger. But, still it shows growth…apparently not physically but mentally …you got this !

  • 21 May // Apr 30, 2008 at 9:57 am

    Shadows. Are very cool me thinks.

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