good god, she’s aliiiiive! kinda sorta maybe.

Hello, all you beautiful, patient rockstars. No, I have not abandoned you all in favor of spending the rest of my confused, sleep-deprived life on a sunny island like Zanzibar. Real updates are coming soon, I promise!

Meanwhile, this fake post has been brought to you by everyone’s favorite Vampire Child™, in conjunction with the Center for Public Blogging & People Who Need to Drink Blue Raspberry Slurpies More Often.