i heart traffic school - day two
Patsy: So tell us, Damon, how many tickets have you received?
Damon: Total?
Patsy: Yes.
Damon: Oh, I’d say about…25 to 30. *shrugs nonchalantly*
Everyone: *collective gasp* OHHHHHH…!
Patsy: *shrieks* 25 to 30??!!
Damon: *defensively* Whaaat? In all my years of driving? That’s not bad at all.
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Patsy: *pained expression*
Damon was sitting next to me, […]

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i heart traffic school - day one
Patsy: What’s your name, hon?Me: Yasmine.Patsy: *winces at pronunciation* So what can I call you?Me: *suppressing laughter* Yasmine.Patsy: You really are mean, aren’t you?
Patsy: Alright, someone give me the two-letter abbreviation for “senior.”Jason B.: Old.
Patsy: So, tell us, why are you here in traffic school tonight?Me: For speeding on […]

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I, who supposedly never cry, watched my face crumble in the mirror as I stood before it early yesterday morning, arms raised in the act of wrapping a scarf around my head, my mother standing next to me as she relayed the message.
I left the house less than ten minutes later, and cried all the […]

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yeah, rochester plays mind games with jane eyre, but that’s a whole different story
So I now have a research internship with the M.I.N.D. Institute in Sacramento, and it happened so fast I’m still sort of reeling from the surprise. Not to mention the fact that I don’t know jack about research, and I don’t even […]

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i don’t buy everything i read/i haven’t even read everything i’ve bought
Speaking of books and reading, I went to the University bookstore the other day to return three textbooks and buy two more instead. I walked out of there with not only the two textbooks, but also four books from the Comparative Literature and English […]

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i don’t cry every time i bleed/my eyes are dry, but they’re bloodshot
When it comes to saying “I told you so,” my parents have ample reason to patronize me with their variations of that phrase. This I freely admit. My mother mournfully shakes her head and says, “Didn’t I tell you so?” whenever I neglect […]

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step back from the ledge, my friend
What freak of nature decided that an AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) buddy list can only hold a maximum of 200 screen names? I’m constantly thwarted in my attempts to add the 201st person with the appearance of a box stating, No more buddies can be added to your buddy […]

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everything I ever took for granted/i want to see it through
I am currently in the process of designing a flyer - based around a gorgeous painting/collage (the scanner doesn’t do it justice, and, of course it’s the machine’s fault, not mine) by my sister - for my internship workshop and I have finally metaphorically […]

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I had thought that three weeks of lazily, obstinately making everyone chauffeur me to places during winter break would take its toll once school resumed, but I was wrong. The 120-mile roundtrip is going well so far - as of today, the second day of school - with none of the exhaustion I had been […]

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I was talking to Bushra on AIM several nights ago, and right before I signed off, she said, “You know, you never write about your mother.” On this weblog, she meant. Which is true, I know. Over the past year of blogging, I’ve made many, many references to my father, sharing stories about his quirky […]

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- only because SecretAgentMAN was already taken…
Beautiful and evocative poetry, hilariously insane ramblings
- “a wonderful, truly inspiring story” [via Ublog]
A Road Paved With Pledges and Pain
- darn east coast keeps tripping me up
Can You Pass the Third Grade?
- safe area america
Graphic novelist Joe Sacco goes back to Sarajevo with his powerful new book “The […]

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